Frasier

On july this year the sitcom "Frasier" bid adieu to millions of viewers worldwide after an amazing run of 11 years. I've got to say this is one of the best teleseries ever. The humour in Frasier is not just of the slapstick variety but of the truly witty kind. The series writers have done a tremendous job in maintaining the high standards of the sitcom throughout the decade. This complemented by the topnotch performances from the illustrious cast led to the show bagging emmys year after year.

As a tribute to the show, here are some of my favourite quotes listed:

Niles: Why do I keep seeing your big fat face everywhere I go
Frasier : I do not have a fat face.
Niles : Oh, please. I keep wondering how long you're going to store those nuts for winter.

--------------------

Niles : Well, as some illustrious person said, "popularity is the hallmark of mediocrity."
Frasier : You just made that up, didn't you?
Niles : Yes, but I stand by it.

--------------------

Daphne : Oh, come on now, Dr Crane. It's not like men have never used sex to get what they want.
Frasier : How can we possibly USE sex to get what we want? Sex IS what we want.

--------------------
Daphne (about her mother): I suppose she can be a bit overbearing. But as she often points out, she is paying for the wedding and I am her only daughter and giving birth to me was so painful she did bite through a kitchen spoon.
Frasier : Daphne, just don't let you mother guilt you into having the wedding she wants instead of the wedding you want.
Daphne : Oh, don't worry, mum already promised me I could have the wedding I want, as soon as I have a daughter who gets engaged

--------------------
Frasier : Just picture it, Daphne. Aren't they something? As you and Donny exit the church one dozen white birds of peace will be released and circle above. Of course, we'll use fourteen in actuality; the power lines always take out a few

--------------------
Daphne : I went to all sorts of funerals as a child. My uncle's a mortician. Lovely man. He's offered to do my make-up for the wedding.
Frasier : I can just hear the whispers now. "Did you see the bride? Very life-like."

--------------------
Roz : When I die, I want it to be on my 100th birthday, in my beach house on Maui and I want my husband to be so upset that he has to drop out of college

--------------------
[the doorbell rings]
Frasier : That'll be Niles. I'm taking him to lunch to get his mind off his troubles.
Daphne : Is that something we shouldn't talk about?
Martin : No, there's no reason why we shouldn't talk about it.
Frasier : Dad, I'm sorry, I don't think he's ready to talk about it so we're not talking about it.
Niles : [from behind the door] Would you mind not talking about it a little less loudly

--------------------
Daphne : When will you just admit that this junk belongs in a dustbin?
Martin : You know, I was on a case once where the wife constantly nagged the husband like this. "You never put anything in the garbage. Why don't you ever put anything in the garbage?"
Daphne : Well, he should have listened to her.
Martin : Oh, he did. And that's where we found her!

--------------------
Frasier : Listen Niles, I'd like you to do my show for me for the week I'm gone.
Niles : Me standing in for you? I'm sorry, Frasier. I couldn't presume to fill those big floppy red shoes of yours.

--------------------
Niles : Look, I know I don't have your total support in this, but... how shall I put this?
Frasier : You don't care?
Niles : If you could work the phrase "rat's ass" into there, you'd have it.

--------------------
[On the art of kickboxing which Niles takes up]
Niles : You know, it requires a lot of talent. You have to have timing and balance, the ability to strike and instantly retreat.
Martin : So you kick them and then run away?
Niles : Yes. My instructor says I'm a natural.

--------------------
Frasier : Niles, is there a light bulb over my head?
Niles : You have an idea?
Frasier : No, I'm asking if there's actually a light bulb over my head.

--------------------
[Frasier is chatting with Niles when a fan comes up to them]
Woman: Oh my God, you're Frasier Crane. Could I bother you for an autograph?
Frasier: No, you can't. It's never a bother.
Woman: I love your show.
Frasier: Oh, thank you.
Woman: I just think you're like the smartest guy on the face of the earth.
Frasier: Well, one does hear tales of a certain wise man in Tibet, but why split hairs? There you go.
[The woman leaves and Frasier returns to the conversation with Niles]
Frasier: Where was I?
Niles: You were last seen hiking up Mount Ego!

--------------------
Frasier : I hate lawyers.
Niles : Oh, me too, but they make wonderful patients. They have excellent health insurance, and they never get better.

--------------------
[Frasier is on air with a caller]
Frasier: So, you were completely bald.
Caller: Yes, the perm destroyed my hair. I was sure my sisters were going to laugh at me. But, they all kissed me and then they marched into the bathroom and shaved their heads too, just so I wouldn't feel like a freak.
Frasier: Amazing! Well, there you have it, Seattle - the miracle of the sibling relationship spelled out in an unselfish act of head-shaving. Well, that's about all the time we have. I'd like to thank my brother Dr. Niles Crane for being here today. Niles, I would shave my head for you.
Niles: A gesture which becomes less significant with each passing year.

--------------------
Frasier : Niles, will you please stop being so morose? It is Thanksgiving.
Niles : Oh, you're right! I should count my blessings: I'm in the midst of a bitter divorce. Maris is freezing my assets, forcing me to live in the Shangri-La, which is the devil's own apartment complex. Where, last night, they turned off my heat, re-freezing my assets.

--------------------
Daphne : I suppose all brothers are like that. Mine certainly were. Everything was a contest! Who could the run the fastest, jump the highest. They even had this strange one where they'd take little brother Michael, put him in a potato sack and see who could roll him the farthest over the frozen lake out back. They loved that game! Until that year the spring thaw set in early and poor Michael went right through the ice. Ooh, they caught hell for that one, they did. Caught it worse a week later when Michael's toe finally fell off. Michael cried and cried until they told him to put it under his pillow for the toe fairy! And then when he got five quid for it, why it was all they could do to stop him from sawing off the rest of them!

--------------------
Niles: "Dad, did you know that Lake Nomohegan was formed by the retreat of several glaciers during the Cenezoic Era?
Fraiser: "Which, coincidentally, is the last time anyone caught a fish in it!"

--------------------
Frasier: "So are you suggesting that I go along and pretend I'm enjoying myself in something that gives me no pleasure at all just to hear the words I love you?"
Daphne: "Why not? Women have been doing it for centuries."

--------------------
Frasier: "Sorry to drop by unannounced - I know how annoying it is to drop by without calling first."
Niles: "Don't worry - I used to do it all the time."
Frasier: "That's how I know."

--------------------
Niles: Moving on to me, what's the verdict on my new look?
Frasier: I give up. What are you talking about?
Niles: My new mustache. I grant you, it's at an early stage.
Frasier: What stage, Research & Development?

--------------------
Martin: Wow, Frasier. I may have underestimated you.
Frasier: Really?
Martin: Yeah, you're making a bigger jackass of yourself than I thought.

--------------------
Pam: It's my in-laws. It's just that, well... they drop over all the time without calling first, and they expect us to stop what we're doing and entertain them.
Frasier: Well, they're your husband's parents - what does he suggest?
Pam: The other day he had us drop to the floor and stay quiet until they drove away.
--------------------