Monkey Trouble
It was Thomas Huxley who said that six monkeys, strumming on six typewiters for an infinite amount of time would eventually be bound to type out the works of Shakespeare. If indeed a monkey was blessed with the ability to put down its thoughts on paper, the very first thing it would compose would be a letter to Charles Darwin,
"Dear Mr. Darwin, I am writing in regards to the slur on my family name, by your suggestion that we are in some way related....."
I must say Darwin, by compiling the "Origin of Species", incurred the wrath of not only the church establishment but also the the entire primate family. But honestly, there's hardly any difference between the two groups.
I come into contact with monkeys almost everyday (no, I've not just escaped from the planet of the apes or anything). It's just that my old school was one of the very few ones which maintained a mini-zoo on campus. And undoubtedly the prime attraction in the zoo was a pair of monkeys, Assissi and Monnasi. Everyday on my way to class Assissi and Monnasi would greet me in the manner of all monkeys worldwide, with a cacophony of shrieks, screeches and a variety of facial countenances that reminded me of Venkaiah Naidu. I guess it was their way of wishing me a good day. After all my day would just not be the same, without beginning with a warm greeting from the dynamic duo.
After moving to college I had assumed my encounters with primates would cease, but it was not to be. If anything my college has far more monkeys than professors. (I'd love to say again there's hardly any difference between the two, but I'll desist). In fact if a census is conducted in my college, after the students the next most populous entity on campus would be the primates closely followed by the profs and then stray dogs. Maybe it's appropriate the profs should be sandwiched between these two groups (I really need to stop lampooning my profs, but then again I can't help it).
Everyday in front of my department all the primates would congregate for their general body meeting which was also attended by the canine community. In fact the department itself looked like a scene straight out of George Orwell's 'Animal Farm'. Any munchies the participants needed for the meeting, they usually scrounged around for it. But every now and then one of them would resort to direct methods like snatching an icecream cone from a careless student or scaring a female student into dropping her bar of chocolate.
After concluding the meeting the primates usually leave for the fertile grounds of the hostel complex whereupon they descend like Ghengis Khan's rampaging armies. Any hostel room that is not as secure as Fort Knox is fair game for these simians. If a student has unwittingly left his room in a vulnerable state, these monkeys would put a CBI search party to shame. By the time they are through, the room would look like ground zero after a nuclear explosion.
One of my juniors had one such experience that he's unlikely to ever forget. He was fast asleep in his room on a sunday afternoon, with his door and window securely fastened. Completely buried under his bedsheet and pillows, even an earthquake wouldn't have stirred him awake. While he was slowly coming out of his sleep in the late evening, he realised that the pillow he was hugging was a bit rough and did not have the usual soft texture. On opening his eyes to investigate he found to his horror that the pillow was indeed a full grown monkey fast asleep in the same cot.
The tranquility of the hostel was shattered by two blood-curdling screams, one of a man's and the other of a primate's. Both screams which were interwoven reached a crescendo that was heard for quite a distance. Apparently, the poor fellow had forgotten to secure the ventilator above the window which the monkey had used as an ingress. Since the guy was completely engulfed by the pillows and bedsheets, the monkey did not spot him amongst the haphazard mess on the cot. After all it's not everyday that a monkey chances upon an empty bed and who can blame it for trying to grab a nap on a day which the Lord himself declared should be a day of rest.
Be as it may, whenever primates decide to have a convention you can be sure that the hot topic of discussion would be Charles Darwin's Theory of Evolution!
"Dear Mr. Darwin, I am writing in regards to the slur on my family name, by your suggestion that we are in some way related....."
I must say Darwin, by compiling the "Origin of Species", incurred the wrath of not only the church establishment but also the the entire primate family. But honestly, there's hardly any difference between the two groups.
I come into contact with monkeys almost everyday (no, I've not just escaped from the planet of the apes or anything). It's just that my old school was one of the very few ones which maintained a mini-zoo on campus. And undoubtedly the prime attraction in the zoo was a pair of monkeys, Assissi and Monnasi. Everyday on my way to class Assissi and Monnasi would greet me in the manner of all monkeys worldwide, with a cacophony of shrieks, screeches and a variety of facial countenances that reminded me of Venkaiah Naidu. I guess it was their way of wishing me a good day. After all my day would just not be the same, without beginning with a warm greeting from the dynamic duo.
After moving to college I had assumed my encounters with primates would cease, but it was not to be. If anything my college has far more monkeys than professors. (I'd love to say again there's hardly any difference between the two, but I'll desist). In fact if a census is conducted in my college, after the students the next most populous entity on campus would be the primates closely followed by the profs and then stray dogs. Maybe it's appropriate the profs should be sandwiched between these two groups (I really need to stop lampooning my profs, but then again I can't help it).
Everyday in front of my department all the primates would congregate for their general body meeting which was also attended by the canine community. In fact the department itself looked like a scene straight out of George Orwell's 'Animal Farm'. Any munchies the participants needed for the meeting, they usually scrounged around for it. But every now and then one of them would resort to direct methods like snatching an icecream cone from a careless student or scaring a female student into dropping her bar of chocolate.
After concluding the meeting the primates usually leave for the fertile grounds of the hostel complex whereupon they descend like Ghengis Khan's rampaging armies. Any hostel room that is not as secure as Fort Knox is fair game for these simians. If a student has unwittingly left his room in a vulnerable state, these monkeys would put a CBI search party to shame. By the time they are through, the room would look like ground zero after a nuclear explosion.
One of my juniors had one such experience that he's unlikely to ever forget. He was fast asleep in his room on a sunday afternoon, with his door and window securely fastened. Completely buried under his bedsheet and pillows, even an earthquake wouldn't have stirred him awake. While he was slowly coming out of his sleep in the late evening, he realised that the pillow he was hugging was a bit rough and did not have the usual soft texture. On opening his eyes to investigate he found to his horror that the pillow was indeed a full grown monkey fast asleep in the same cot.
The tranquility of the hostel was shattered by two blood-curdling screams, one of a man's and the other of a primate's. Both screams which were interwoven reached a crescendo that was heard for quite a distance. Apparently, the poor fellow had forgotten to secure the ventilator above the window which the monkey had used as an ingress. Since the guy was completely engulfed by the pillows and bedsheets, the monkey did not spot him amongst the haphazard mess on the cot. After all it's not everyday that a monkey chances upon an empty bed and who can blame it for trying to grab a nap on a day which the Lord himself declared should be a day of rest.
Be as it may, whenever primates decide to have a convention you can be sure that the hot topic of discussion would be Charles Darwin's Theory of Evolution!
posted by Unknown @ 6:08 AM
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